Wedding in Pakistan Pt. 4: Rasaams (Traditions) following the Nikkah

After the Nikkah-nama was signed by M, everyone hugged and congratulated each other (well, M and I still hadn't seen each other, but all the family members were going from room to room and congratulating each other).  Then they made M leave the big room, and they brought me out of sil's bedroom and I, with all the women surrounding me, veil still covering me, walked from her room to the big room where I would get to meet M for the first time as his wife.  Looking at pictures of me, standing in the doorway, surrounded by all of M's female relatives, I look like a ridiculous Amazon woman.  At 5'7, in over 2 inch heels, I towered over most of them, the addition of the red veil just adds to the effect of my mammoth-ness.

So, I was swept across the room by my escorts and deposited on the floor at one end, with my legs curled up beneath me.  I sat in this postion, under my veil, for what seemed like a VERY long time.  So long, in fact, that my legs feel asleep.  Totally, numb from the waist down asleep.  Then, when I tried to shift a little bit to wake them up, blinding pins and needles pain shooting through my entire legs!  I'd never before had both my entire legs fall asleep!  It was horrible, I was so worried that once I had to get up I would just fall over!


Finally, they brought in M.  He walked in under a red duppata, carried by some of his male relatives.

I was still hiding under my veil.  And he sat down in front of me.  Someone placed a decorated mirror in between us, and pulled back my veil, while we both looked into the mirror at the same time.  This was the first time we saw each other as husband and wife.  Traditionally, this would have been the first time the bride and groom saw each other, ever.  Then some of the girls (who had been designated as representatives from my side, since I didn't have anyone there) tried to push my head together with his, and some of his "representatives" tried to push him towards me.  I didn't know I was supposed to resist this, so I just let them.  Then my sil leaned over and whispered, don't let them push you, so I gave back a little resistance.  They pushed a few more times until we both gave up and they pushed our foreheads together.

Then someone brought the Qur'an, and placed it on our laps.  M had to trace Surah Ihklas (‘Say He is Allah, the One, Allah is eternal and Absolute, He begets not, nor was He begotten, there is none equal to Him, He is alone’) on my forehead seven times with his finger. 

Then he took a ring, and dipped it in something similar to sindhoor, except it was silvery instead of red (I will have to ask him what this was), and placed it on the part of my hair seven times. 

After that, they brought a plate of halwa (sweet dessert).  They placed a small bit in my hand and then my girls took my hand and held it out teasingly to him.  His side pushed his head forward, trying to help him eat the halwa from my hand.  My side pulled it back each time, to keep him from getting it.  Everyone was laughing so hard!  This went on for a while.  One time he cheated, reached out and snatched it with his hand and ate it.  Another time, he got one of his little nieces to sneakily help him get it.  He had to eat the halwa three times.  Then he took a small spoon and gave me three tiny bites of the halwa.  

After that, the rasaams were finished, and we sat up on the couch for pictures, and gifts were given.  Each of M's relatives (as families) gave me a gold set and gave M's sisters, mom, and dad clothes. 
Then there was more song singing and drum playing in line with what went on at the Mehndi.  Finally, everyone began to leave, and we were exhausted and looking forward to the next event the next day, our reception.

M's idea of a funny joke while we were taking pictures.