A Lot of Love in a Little Space

Sunday night I got back from a visit to Wisconsin to spend the holidays (Thanksgiving and Eid Al-Adha) with my two sisters in law, brother in law (husband of one SIL), and nieces (all M's family).  We drove from Dallas to Wisconsin, which is a 16+ hour drive, even without an 18 month old tagging along.  We had to break the drive up into to two days, which means we spent four days driving.  Despite the long travel, it was a really great vacation and well worth it.

We loaded up the car on Wednesday night, made sure we had enough kiddie dvds, Kix, and juice boxes to placate an army of toddlers, and headed up on the journey from Dallas, through Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois, and finally Wisconsin!  When we got to Wisconsin, we all bundled into the small two bedroom apartment that my sister in law and two nieces are living in while she completes her fellowship at the U of Wisconsin (they usually live in Chicago). 

So including M, little D, me, sil, her husband, two nieces (ages 5 and 7) and other sil visiting from Karachi, we had 8 people in her two bedroom apartment.  And we had tons of fun!  People from here think I'm crazy when I say that we all stayed together in one apartment.  "Why didn't you stay in a hotel?" they ask, truly puzzled.  It's hard to explain to them that, first of all, it would be offensive to M's family if we wanted to stay at a hotel, even if it means cramming even more people into said tiny apartment, and second of all, we actually all have fun hanging out together in such close quarters (and for ten days, no less).  I think that this is something far removed from the typical "American" experience and most people would get a hotel rather than all cram together.  Actually, when we got married here in the States (detailed posts to follow on that wedding, if I ever get around to finishing Pakistan wedding posts), we had 14 people staying at our house!  (And we were the newlyweds!)  We have a pretty big house, but people were still having to sleep on couches, air matresses, etc.  It's just normal for M's family to all stay together like that.  They would think it's weird for everyone to stay in hotels. 

I had a lot of fun in part because I got to cook a traditional Thanksgiving meal for M's family, all of whom (except M) had never had one before.  Everyone except for sil's husband had never even had turkey before!  Although I guess it truly is an North American food, seeing as how you only get them on this continent.  This was the first time I have ever cooked a Thanksgiving meal by myself (my mom usually does it), so I was really nervous, especially when BIL showed up with a fresh halal 15 lb turkey on Wednesday night.  Luckily, after a long day of basting, baking, and cooking, I ended up with an extremely delicious turkey (which I credit wholly to its freshness and halalness, have you ever had a fresh, never frozen turkey before? wow wow wow!)  I also made the Thanksgiving staples of green bean casserole, stuffing, gravy, squash, crescent rolls and cranberry sauce.  For dessert we had pumpkin pie.  All in all everyone really enjoyed it, and then we collapsed into a tryptophan-induced stupor and watched the Cowboys play the Raiders.  Doesn't get more traditional than that!

Turkey Before and After

Eid followed shortly thereafter, and turned out to be wonderful as well.  I had never celebrated Eid together with M's family, usually its just the three of us, so I was so happy to finally have the chance to do so.  There was no masjid for us in the town we were in, so we decided that we would get up, put on our Eid clothes, and say the Eid prayers together as a family in the living room, then have M take pics of us all in our finery.  Afterwards, we had chai and yummy sheer korma that sil from Karachi made.  The week had flown past already and it was time to go home.  As I reflect on the celebrations of last week, I realize just how lucky I am to be able to share the Thanksgiving traditions I love so much with M's family and be able to experience the beauty and peace of Eid traditions at the same time, so close together.  Somewhere in there it shows what the ideal of being an American means to me, striking a balance between the long held traditions of both Thanksgiving and Eid.  Taking both and making them uniquely ours, as Muslim Americans.