So, the way the nikkah is done in Pakistan, the groom is in one room and the bride is in another. Aside: The Nikkah-nama itself is the actual written contract that both parties sign, and upon signing it are married. It is much more legalistic than marriages here. For instance, I had the opportunity to write terms into the Nikkah-nama prior to the ceremony, I considered doing it, just for the heck of it, but decided against it, as I knew the contract would not be legally binding here in the U.S. and I didn't want to embarass M or his family by making it seem like I distrusted him by writing things into it. (Although as a lawyer, I would have taken great glee in drafting my own clauses!) Also written are the bride and groom's information as would be put in a marriage license in the U.S., and the amount of mahr (dowry) that the bride will receive. I accepted my engagement ring (the value of it) as my mahr.
Ok, so back to the nikkah. While I was sitting waiting, all the men and M were in the other room and two Maulanas (religious leaders) were there reading dua's (prayers) etc. The witnesses were filling out the required information about themselves into the forms (name, father's name, address). M had three witness and I had three witnesses. We also each had our own Maulana, who would then negotiate the nikkah on our behalf. It was kind of like we each had our own "lawyer." So M's "lawyer" recited the terms of the Nikkah to my "lawyer." Then my "lawyer" came to my room to recite the terms of the Nikkah to me and get my approval of them. All the women were in the room with me. My mil sat next to me on the bed the whole time and squeezed my hand very tight. I was so anxious and had a light butterflyee feeling in my stomach. The veil was still over my face, so I could only barely make out the Maulana, but this is what he said "Do you Southern Masala, daughter of Dr. Ali Masala, take M... under such and such terms?" I was so confused, who was Dr. Ali? Had they told him that my dad's name was Ali so that he would think my Dad was Muslim? Then I realized the Maulana was saying "R.E." my dad's initials. I almost started laughing out loud, but I didn't say anything. You see, M's Appi (aunt) had told me before the ceremony that I shouldn't answer the first time because traditional Pakistani brides don't answer on the first question (they have to ask you the same question three times). That way they seem shy and modest and not eagerly rushing towards marriage. However, this maulana knew that I was American, so when I didn't answer on the first time, he was really suprised and confused! He was worried something must be wrong! M's Appi and his sisters all said "answer! answer!" So of course I said yes! And yes again and yes again! I was crying then and so was my MIL, ha ha, from all the pent up emotion and happiness.
Then he stuck the nikkah-nama at the bottom of the veil, and I had to sign it, but I can't read Urdu, so I didn't know where to sign, so I signed on the wrong line at first, and they had to cross it out and then I signed on the right one. Then my MIL put a small gold and ruby ring on my finger.
My Maulana went back to M's maulana and said I accepted these terms. Then M's maulana recited the terms to him, and he had to accept them each three times. The whole recitation is done in very sing songy Arabic, and M was sitting in between the two of them on the couch. The whole time, I can tell that he is trying not to laugh (remember everything from M's side I have seen on the video), and BIL is trying not to laugh that was sitting across from him too. Then M signed the nikkah-nama and that was it, we were married, but more waiting was to come, and then a lot of fun with rasaams (means traditions, have to wait to the next post)!
Our maulanas discussing the nikkah-nama. My maulana is the one in the brown robe and M's is in the black robe.
Getting my assent to the marriage. After thinking about it, I decided to say yes (j/k M, I knew yes all along!)
Here is a closer picture of the nikkah-nama. That is me signing it.
My MIL putting the nikkah ring on my finger.
M in between the maulanas as they were reciting. I can't believe he was laughing on such a solemn occasion!
M signing the nikkah-nama. Now we are married! The red arm band is called Imam Zamin. I had one too. It is to keep away nazar (evil eye) and protect you on the start of your journey (in this case, our marriage).
mashallah! Your suit is so pretty! =D..
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