Ok, so here is something that occasionally crosses my mind: Is it ok to sometimes NOT want to be a strong woman? (both physically and otherwise?)
Case in point:
This weekend we go to the park to play cricket. I am fielding and M hits a line drive directly at me at about 100 mph. The ball smacks me directly in my knee cap, which really hurts and leaves me with a giant knot. Everyone laughs and says what a good fielder I am, M says it can't have hurt because we are using a tape ball (because taped up tennis balls don't hurt when hitting you at 100 mph, of course). Then our friend's wife is batting and the bowler hits her with the ball, (throwing it very slow and easy because she is a girl and probably can't hit the ball at normal speed). Everyone runs over to her to make sure that she is ok, and she stops batting. Am I stupid to be jealous that everyone makes such a big deal over her getting barely tapped with the ball, and noone cares that I got killed?
I have always been one of the "guys," a rough houser. In soccer, I was an enforcer on the field. I was strong, physically benchpressing and leg pressing quite a bit for a girl. I've since lost quite a bit of my muscle mass (thank God, so I don't look like a she-Hulk anymore). But sometimes I get jealous about not being pampered and treated like a delicate flower of feminity. Of course, I am torn, because if I was treated that way ALL of the time, it would really piss me off. I guess I really shouldn't be able to complain that I want it both ways.
The same thing goes in my personal life. Sometimes I am so tired and scared of trying to pursue my career and be sucessful, I wish that I could just put it all on my husband to provide for the family and I would just stay at home. I mean it is scary and a lot of pressure to be a stay at home mom too, but I think in a different way. But then I know that that path is not going to be for me, that I need the interaction and stimulation of the kind that a legal career can provide and I have worked hard for it. So in the end I will muscle up to it, even when I don't want to. I will shoulder it all, house and career, kids and court, God willing. In the long run, I know that I will be happier being the way that I am now.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
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Well, they should have at least fawned over you a little bit!:) I am on the other side though. I'm little so I can't possibly to anything myself. Grrrr... Though I do have to say I use it to my advantage sometimes.:) I hope your knee feels better.
ReplyDeleteI can certainly relate.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. People take advantage of someone who is together, who is strong - they lean on that person, they rely on that person, they count on that person - and they forget about the needs of that person because that person doesn't present him/herself as being needy but rather as being strong.
ReplyDeleteI think it is a better path in the long run, sis. But you may need to learn to communicate your wants and needs so as not to be the perpetual doormat, etc.
I see you doing it all too. For me, i've always saw myself as a stay at home mom (if i had kids) and writing on the side. I think the school years will be most productive for me though for writing. Naptime for him means worktime for me. I think no matter what a woman does, it's a workload. Women always work hard it seems whether it be at work, home or both.
ReplyDeleteAbout the cricket. That sounds fun!
It was a tennis ball wrapped in tape for gods sake!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, we Pakis like hitting our women!
LOL! Ya Subhanallah!
ReplyDeleteOne day one of my friends was whining at her teenaged sons because the car needed air in the tire! I laughed so hard I almost choked! I told her, "Get this car to the gas station, I'll pump your air!"
I still laugh every time I think of it. I don't know what I'd do if I were such a whimp!
salams,
ReplyDeleteinteresting blog..
:)
Pixie- Yes, a little bit of fawning would be nice, lol! Good luck on your exams.
ReplyDeleteAisha- Thanks, glad to know I'm not the only one out there. Good luck on your exams!
Otowi- Isn't that ironic, that strong people get taken advantage of? Maybe we're not strong in all ways. I know I can never say no when someone asks me to do something!
Ed- You are by far the most feminine dude I know :).
Wayfarer- Thanks for the support! You are such a great mom, Masha'Allah! And so lucky to have your writing gig (and good at it too!)
Anon- Gee I wonder who that could be? (M, I called him on it as soon as it posted)
Hajar- Lol! Another strong women! You rock!
S- Wa salaam, Thanks for visiting!
Ouch @ "tennis ball wrapped in ball" I know that really HURTS!! I got smacked in the face by it once!
ReplyDeleteAnd nah, I don' think there's anything wrong with showing your sensitive side. Sometimes the ones that put on a strong front are the ones that are really crumbling inside. So, yeah it's okay to NOT be strong all the time.
About being tired and scared of pursuing a career, I think I've gone/am going through that. Do what you truley want to do and will keep you happy.
Nice blog by the way!
Enyur
http://enyur.blogspot.com/
Salaam Alaikum:
ReplyDeleteIt is not unusual for men to overlook the feminine nature of a strong women. Or for a strong woman to want to be respected for both her strength and her female side. Unfortunately, most men objectify women as one or the other. They have simplistic minds. But the strength of women is the hope of the human race. Be who Allah made you, dear sister :)
Hope your doing ok!!!
ReplyDelete